Going Forward

Today is the anniversary of my high school graduation. On that long ago day, I looked forward to life’s journey with hope. As a reader, I wanted to write. I wrote poetry, as teens do. But creating a novel was a foggy dream.

Years passed. I worked, read, met my future love, read with him, married, read some more. We parented three sons and I read to them. Eventually, I learned how to write a whole novel. I wrote one then another, and another. I just couldn’t pull enough together to publish them. As a born procrastinator, I found distractions.

Over the last year or so, mainly since Mom’s passing, I’ve come to a fork in the road. I can take one of three paths.

1 – I can keep traveling the same path…churning out new novels, never finishing some, never polishing others quite enough. But I’ve been plodding that muddy path for a long time now. It’s not getting me anywhere.

2 – I can pack it all away and forge ahead toward a new life, new adventures. I’d enjoy planting flowers. I’d love to return to college. Our house needs some major rehab. Traveling for adventure, not the latest writer’s conference, is appealing. But then…I wouldn’t be writing. My characters, those voices in my head, would shrivel and die. I can’t do that to them, or to me.

3 – The third path requires resolve. No more dabbling. No more distractions. This is the year I WILL publish. I’m in good shape for it. My skills and knowledge have improved. I have supportive friends and family, as never before. Despite a day job and a husband, I can squeeze in the time. I find such a resolution incredibly exciting, and a bit frightening. But this is the path I’m taking.

Have you ever felt on the edge of such joy, and fear? How did you handle it?