Marriage

A Writer’s Valentine
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A Writer’s Valentine

Cherish this day, and every day, with your loved one. You don’t have to spend a lot. Make it simple. This post was my last Valentine to Tom. He told me it was the best Valentine’s gift ever. Happy Valentine’s Day!  ♥

Stringing Beads

My passion is writing romance. I grew up on boy meets girl stories. I watch romantic movies, read romance novels, and write happily ever after stories. For years, I’ve been a member of Romance Writers of America ©.  Most of my close friends read and/or write romance.  Finally, and most important, I have been married to my own true hero for well over thirty years.

I should be able to come up with a unique and heartfelt way to say “I love you” on Valentine’s Day.  What can I give him?  And what will he give me?

As I ponder the questions, I don’t imagine that he’ll bring home a bouquet of long-stemmed roses.  That’s okay. I carried white roses on my wedding day. In our years together, he’s brought home roses for birthdays and illnesses, for Valentine’s Day, and sometimes for nothing special.  Nothing special flowers are best of…

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A Writer’s Valentine

My passion is writing romance. I grew up on boy meets girl stories. I watch romantic movies, read romance novels, and write happily ever after stories. For years, I’ve been a member of Romance Writers of America©.  Most of my close friends read and/or write romance.  Finally, and most important, I have been married to my own true hero for well over thirty years.

I should be able to come up with a unique and heartfelt way to say “I love you” on Valentine’s Day.  What can I give him?  And what will he give me?

As I ponder the questions, I don’t imagine that he’ll bring home a bouquet of long-stemmed roses.  That’s okay. I carried white roses on my wedding day. In our years together, he’s brought home roses for birthdays and illnesses, for Valentine’s Day, and sometimes for nothing special.  Nothing special flowers are best of all.  There are times when a soul aches for roses, but not now.

With Valentine’s Day on a Monday, we have no plans for a dinner of prime rib and champagne in a candlelit restaurant.  While the setting is romantic, it is winter, bitter cold, and we’ll both be tired from work.  I’m thinking crock-pot soup, sandwiches, and a Netflix movie.  Sounds nice, doesn’t it?

We’re beyond buying silly ties and heart-patterned socks and pj’s. There was a time for that, true.  But no more.  Chocolate truffles and bon-bons are out, too.  I’ve managed to lose over fifty pounds this past year.  I feel better than I have in decades.  I’d like to keep it off for me, and for him.

So what will I give him for Valentine’s Day?  I believe I’ll tell him –

~ for all the compliments you’ve given me, deserved or not, boosting my fragile ego

~ for the three sons we created and raised together

~ for trudging off to work in frigid pre-dawn hours, day after day, year after year

~ for the thousands of conversations we’ve had and will keep having until we can no longer talk

~ for the many many adventures we’ve shared

~ for championing the good causes and being my hero

Yes, quite simply I’ll say…for all that and more, I love you.  ∞

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Annapolis

At heart I’m still a Midwestern gal but I’ve come to love the sea. Because of that, I’ve learned to enjoy life on the eastern seaboard.  There is so much to see and do, and so much of it within an easy driving distance. And let’s face it, we all need to get away on an adventure from time to time.

Our latest adventure together took us to the Harbor View Inn, a lovely Bed & Breakfast near the heart of historic Annapolis, Maryland. Wow, and wow again! What a true delight!  A wonderful haven managed by such a gracious couple.   We loved having our own private deck.  Downstairs each morning we were served outstanding breakfasts, and wine and appetizers each evening…so nice!   We met a pleasant couple who were celebrating their 40th – great talks.   The last morning our hostess snapped a picture of the four of us at the foot of the elegant staircase.  Capturing memories.

The U.S. Naval Academy was an easy walk from the Harbor View. So was the Maryland State House.  We took a trolley tour that gave us a good historic overview of the city.  As true history lovers, we toured the William Paca House & Gardens and the Hammond-Harwood House learning all about Georgian architecture. We strolled the Annapolis streets stopping into quaint little shops.  And we sampled such exquisite foods.   We thoroughly loved the Galway Bay Irish Pub, one of the best Irish restaurants we’ve visited (including a few in Ireland).  But then, it is owned and run by an Irishman!

On Friday evening we took a 2-hour sunset cruise on the Schooner Woodwind, a  74-foot sail boat.   That was about the temperature, too, 74 degrees and sunny.  Not much wind to speak of, so our experienced Captain and Crew motored us up the Severn River, then back out into the Chesapeake Bay.  The sails fluttered here and there, but I doubt that anyone cared much about the still air…so peaceful…so relaxing.  So very much what we needed.

From time to time, married folks need to get away together.  It keeps the marriage fresh.  It doesn’t need to be a week in the Carribean, or even a 3 day trip to Annapolis.  Sometimes a simple drive in the country, or a date movie followed by a stop for ice cream will do.  (Oh…did I tell you about Storm Brothers homemade frozen peach yogurt?  My first frozen yogurt in months and so much better when eaten on the docks of Ego Alley, watching the dingies, sailboats and yachts come and go…)

On the journey home, the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, that marvelous expanse, was closed for a time.  We sat in the middle of traffic for an hour and a half.  Despite the heat I found, somehow, even that became a memorable part of the adventure.  Our conversation still brings a smile.

Please share a memory of a particularly happy getaway you have taken or plan to take.  ∞

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Happy Mother’s Day

Her name was Sophie. I’ve learned what I know of her through the generosity of distant cousins.  Ed & Sophie This picture is a precious gift from one of them.  She is the mother of my father’s father’s father – my great-great grandmother.

A French Canadian, Sophie was born in Quebec in 1835.  She died in northern Minnesota in 1914.   Her children were all born in Quebec, in the same town and province where she and her husband were born, christened, and married.  Where their parents and grand-parents had lived before them, all the way back to the early 1600’s when a few adventurous souls crossed the ocean from France.

In those years before automatic washing machines, microwave ovens, or supermarkets, Sophie bore and raised eleven children – five sons, six daughters.  Imagine! 😯  My three sons kept me busy.  I know little of her social status, save what I can discern from the photo, and from what I know of our overall family.  Regardless, her life was far different than ours is today.

Sophie moved to Minnesota when she and Edouard were older, most likely because their oldest son, my great-grandfather, moved there.   Families stay together, when they can.   She survived her husband by four years, dying in 1914 at the age of 79.  She would not see her oldest son, my great-grandfather, die in an automobile accident in 1917, nor her grandsons travel to France to fight with the Expeditionary Forces in the first World War.

She lived a good life, I think.  It shows in her sweet face, and in the way she gently rests her hand on her husband’s shoulder.  Her DNA runs through my veins, intermingled with the DNA of so many other mothers.  Though I never knew her, we share a bond – both of blood, and in our love of family.

I wish we could have sat together at her kitchen table, just once, to chat over a cup of coffee.  I would like to have met this French speaking g-g-grandmother of mine, to have known her and about her life.  Somehow, I think she might laugh at that.  Maybe that’s why I write history….to understand the life Sophie and my other ancestors led.

To you, and to all mothers both here and now departed,  Happy Mother’s Day!

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Defending Marriage

Romance novels are about relationships, about two people overcoming obstacles and working to establish trust. Romance Writers of America (RWA), writes that in a romance lovers “risk and struggle for each other…and are rewarded with emotional justice and unconditional love.” In a romance novel, with its happily-ever-after outlook, the story often ends with a marriage, or at least the promise of one.

sf-july-2008-1202I am a romance writer. I write about romance because I believe in it just as surely I believe in marriage. I believe that life is better because of romance, and it is better because of marriage. Finding one’s soul mate is not an easy task. Pledging lifelong love and commitment to that person is truly wondrous.

Why then are so many supposedly religious folk denying others the joy and permanance that comes from the marriage vow? In the name of their God? What sort of God denies any person’s love for another?

On Tuesday, California passed Proposition 8. In doing so, a small majority enforced their religious beliefs on the rest of the state. I believe it was an act of intolerance, ignorance, and fear. It marked those in the gay and lesbian community as unworthy of marriage.

Not so many years ago, other states banned interracial marriages. Courts bastardized children born of such unions. Parents could be, and were at times, jailed for a simple act of love. Eventually, however, as Civil Rights took root and reason prevailed, courts began to see the light. The laws were declared unjust and people who loved one another – Black, White, or Asian – could legally wed.

However hurtful, I believe this latest assault on the right to marry in California (and other states) is simply one more temporary setback. Like the Civil Rights movement, the marches and protests must, and will, continue until society sees the light. As in a romance novel, there will be a struggle, but there will also be a happily-ever-after for those who love.